Ditch the Negative Self-Talk by Listening to Your Best Friend
It took some practice to put this theory into motion for me, but like I always say, “if I can do it, anyone can do it!” I have issues with negative self-talk about my weight. I am not overweight, but I am hyper-conscious about my body shape. I am a grandmother after all and body parts that were once perky are now sadly stretching for the ground and have declared gravity as their best friend. As a friend of mine used to say, (who has since passed on, losing her battle with cancer), “I used to be a 36D, but now I’m just a 36Long”. Once I applied the “best friend advice” theory however, – it helped me start down the path of positive self-talk and ditch the negative Nelly ones. Let’s try it out, shall we?
Take the first thing that pops into your head when it comes to your own personal negative self-talk. It could be anything, but usually you are able to think about it right away because it has been your constant companion for as long as you can remember. Now I want you to imagine that you’ve graciously gifted this negative thing or idea to your best friend. She is now you. (This works great if you do this in front of a mirror). Your best friend is now telling you that she hates the shape of her body and that dimples are only cute on baby bums, and that rolls are meant to be eaten not worn. What do you tell her?
To put this in context, let me share an experience. I recently did this exercise in a group of about 40 women and I had the leader of the group as my “best friend”. She was telling me how she was overweight and hated the way she fit in her clothes. I then asked the audience what advice should I give her? I panicked as the silence dragged on for just a little bit longer than anticipated. I worried that people would actually start giving advice on weight loss ideas, diets that never really work, to fast, or to exercise like a maniac. One woman in the front row saved me with the perfect answer: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! There have not been a lot of perfect moments in my speaking career, but this one I will always remember. She said the answer that I had written down in my notes and she said it out loud and clear: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! I have given this talk several times since I originally wrote this blog and guess what? The first answer is ALWAYS – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Ladies, try it out right this second. Take that negative self-talk and hand it over to yourself as your own best friend. What advice would you give that best friend? It changed the way I view myself forever. I am beautiful. And not in some egotistical way, but truly beautiful inside and out. Why? Because that is how my husband sees me, how my children see me, and how my best friend sees me – and now? How I see myself. My best friends would all come and tell me the same thing – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Want to dive deeper into how negative self-talk relates to over-eating? Jump on over to my friend, Samantha Russell’s blog where she even offers a free downloadable workshop for you!