I am a sucker for a good tear-jerker, love the action films and chick-flicks, and Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightley is the one I’ve watched the most. Not only am I addicted to movies, but I believe I’m simply addicted to happy endings. I want to fly without wings, make people laugh like Lucille Ball, have magical powers like Samantha from Bewitched, be strong and have courage like Cinderella, sing like Queen Latifah, and kick ass like Lara Croft. That’s not asking too much, right?
I believe so much in happy endings and in super heroes, that I’ve decided to create my own happy ending and become a super hero myself. A lofty goal you say? Mock me if you must, but I’m living the dream. No, not a dream…a reality. 20 years ago if you had told me I would grow up to be a super hero I would have laughed right out loud. Heck, even 10 years ago would have had me doubting through and through. But here I am, a living breathing super hero. Guess what? You are, too! Or can decide to be if that is your goal and that it’s what YOU want to be when you grow up.
Let me share one of my oldest villains with you. Teenage pregnancy. I don’t think any little girl sets her dream to be pregnant by the time she is 16, especially one that has a future as a super hero. While I do not have anyone to blame but myself, it is a fact that “most people end up in this situation in a misguided attempt to fulfill some pretty basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives.” (Ezra Taft Benson) If those needs are not met, we seek them in places that are unhealthy to ourselves and others. (Don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that your decisions effect only you…just like positive choices leave ripple effects, so do poor choices.)
Just over 8 years ago, I married my hero, my best friend. My heart has been healed and my capacity to love has grown. While I had earned my GED as a teenager, I wanted my high school diploma because it was something I had deprived myself of. (As a side note, don’t try this at home…it is SO MUCH EASIER to pass high school as a teenager than an adult…TRUST ME!!) I went back to adult school and the math that I hated with a passion and earned my diploma. Not only was that super, crazy kind of hard, but I took graduation pictures, attained a class ring, and even spoke at my graduation where lots of friends and family were in attendance (including my tutor I had to get to pass math!). They didn’t even have the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) when I was in high school! It seemed so unfair, but I passed! I graduated at the ripe old age of 41!
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Goal Posts 2 of 4 – Reflection
Reflection
One of the funnest things I did before actually writing my goals down was reflect on my past years of goal-setting. I have been printing out and posting my yearly goals on my bulletin board since 2010. I kept them in a tidy little file folder tucked away in one of my office drawers and hadn’t thought much about them other than to put the old ones in at the end of each year.
Not this time.
It was so great to reflect on some of my goals and what I was into at that particular time. How my physical goals have changed from running a half marathon and now I’m racing mountain bikes. Saving for Boobs had been on my list, but 2 years later decided they would be a “BIG” pain and get in the way of my physical fitness goals. How many classes I wanted to finish to gain my high school diploma and how that goal came true in it’s entirety in 2012 when I graduated!
From knitting a blanket (yes, it’s still on there after three years) to completing a Shutterfly book. From spiritual goals that were met to eating right. It has been wonderful to reflect and introspect and ruminate over goals accomplished, goals that turned out not as important as I had thought in the moment and just how I’ve grown over the last 8 years while navigating my 40’s. A crazy, mixed-up, wonderful, growth of a ride for sure.
Now it’s your turn:
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- What are some goals that were important to you at the time, but turned out less important as years passed?
- What did you spend time on and wished you hadn’t? Now vice versa…wish you had spent more time on, but didn’t?
- Accomplished any bucket list items lately? Can you add one this year?
- Are your goals attainable within a specific time frame?
Now that you’ve Dreamed Big, and done a little Reflection, tune in next week to figure out how you can attain your goals by getting them into Bite-Size Chunks.
Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know all about your goals and how your reflection of past goals have been for you.
Love hearing from you!
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Embrace
Embracing (ALL OF) YouI’m a ball-baby, a boob, a serious cryer. I cry when I’m happy and full of love. I cry when I watch movies. I cry when little things have added up over time and it brings a sweet release that only crying can achieve. I cry when I’m sad and I cry when I’m mad. I am a cryer.I know I’ve written about my sweet husband a bunch, but he made me see my crying in a different way.Several years ago (more than I want to count, actually) I was crying over something or other and throughout my whole life I had fought being a cryer. In the midst of my frustration and more crying I told my hubby, “I’m sorry, I’m going to learn how to control this, I will figure this out and I won’t be such a boob”. What he said changed not only my view about my crying, but in every other aspect of my life.He said, “Sweetheart, I’ve known you for a long time and I believe this is a part of you that I don’t think is going to change. I think that you are a cryer and that’s ok.” WHAT??? It’s ok to I cry?I had always seen my crying as a negative that I needed to change to a positive. The thought had never crossed my mind that it was simply a part of who I was and that it was perfectly fine to embrace that as a part of me and MOVE ON.Since that time I have never worried about my crying. It has even made me view other people’s crying in a whole new light. Here’s an example: My daughter was having a particularly hard day yesterday and she stopped by my work for a “cry session”. She apologized for half a second and I just told her to let it all out. She did. She knew I was a cryer and she knew that I would understand.Being a cryer and embracing that part of me has made me empathetic to others and has made me see other parts of my life that I viewed as negative, as just a part of who I am today. I love that!There are still things that I want to do, accomplish, and be. But this one moment in my life has changed my view of who I am and has led me to accept things about myself that are just fine, thank you very much. 🙂
What can you embrace in yourself starting right now as being a part of what makes you uniquely you? Recognize it, own it, embrace you. Change what you want, keep what you want, but embracing you is a beautiful step towards freedom. Love to you, my tribe of Lemonader’s! -
Goal Posts 1 of 4 – Dream Big
Dream Big
What does it take to be focused on setting goals or what I have termed “Promises”? This year I decided to shake things up a bit and use different description words and generally make my goals a lot more FUN! I wanted to use my creativity and playfulness – we can sometimes be so stodgy, strict, and stick-in-the-muddy when it comes to making our serious goals.
Why?
I decided that while I am serious about reaching my goals there wasn’t a reason on earth not to make them fun, playful, creative and attractive.
The next Four Blogs will be entitled:
Dream Big, Reflections, Bite Size Chunks, and Accountability
For today, let’s focus on DREAMING BIG. How would you complete the following sentences?
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- If money were not an option, I would______________________________________________.
- If I could set my fear aside, I would______________________________________________.
- My dream job would be____________________________.
- If I had extra money to donate to any philanthropic organization I would pick__________________________.
- 3 Things I would add to my bucket list__________________________________.
- 3 Movies I’ve always wanted to see but haven’t taken the time are_____________________________________.
- If I had an entire day to myself I would spend it doing__________________________________.
- If I had more time to workout I would do_____________________________________.
- My Secret Destination Dream vacation would be_____________________________________.
- Something purely fun I want to learn___________________________________.
- I want to retire at age__________________.
- If I wrote a book it would be titled___________________________________.
- 2 Projects I’ve put off for entirely too long____________________________________.
- 1 House Project that I would love to finish this year____________________________________.
You get the idea here, right? Allow yourself to dream big. The goal of this exercise isn’t to necessarily see them ALL happen this year, but to realize or work on them throughout the year. Is Paris your dream vacation? Start a savings account specifically for that purpose, play a French film with subtitles while eating a crescent to keep your dream alive. Have a nagging house project? Write down what it would take to accomplish that goal.
For example, last year I wanted to get new carpet upstairs so long before that became a reality I started saving for the carpet, picked out the carpet and pad as well as got quotes for installation. Want to donate to a philanthropic organization but don’t have the money you would really like to donate? So what! They appreciate all donations. I donate $10/month to PCRM and this year my husband picked 4 different charities he wanted to support at $5/month each. Do something…not nothing.
And just as a side note…I do have on my promises list for something purely fun. My hubby and I are going to learn to pop wheelies on our mountain bikes! Yes!
After filling out your DREAMING BIG categories, it’s time to make them fun. Please tune in next week for the Reflections topic where I look at my goals that I started printing out in 2010 and how this year I changed them from stodgy to playful.
If this was helpful, please leave a comment below as I would love to hear from you!
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