Superheroes vs Villains

You Are a Super Hero

Super Heroes vs Villains

I am a crazy movie addict. I will just admit that now and get it out of the way. I also am admittedly an OCD organizational freakazoid. That means that not only do I love movies with super heroes, but I had shelving built on one wall around my TV to house them, separated by genre AND alphabetized within their genre. Crazy, right? (Wait until you learn about how I send my birthday cards every year) Not only do I have them organized in such a way, but I have a list on my phone called “Movies”. Within that list are movies coming out that I want to see and the date they debut, movies I want to add to my collection, and a list of VHS tapes I have left to switch over to DVD’s. I love movies!

I am a sucker for a good tear-jerker, love the action films and chick-flicks, and Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightley is the one I’ve watched the most. Not only am I addicted to movies, but I believe I’m simply addicted to happy endings. I want to fly without wings, make people laugh like Lucille Ball, have magical powers like Samantha from Bewitched, be strong and have courage like Cinderella, sing like Queen Latifah, and kick ass like Lara Croft. That’s not asking too much, right?

One of the things I’ve learned is that you cannot have heroes without villains. If the villains did not exist, super heroes would not be discovered or needed. The super heroes themselves might not ever know that they are super heroes because nothing challenged them to become more than they already were. In the latest Cinderella movie, her mother charged her to be strong and have courage. This was simply a dying wish of a mother to her daughter until the wicked stepmother and stepsisters entered her life to test her and try her. Wonder Woman (Linda Carter) was living an oblivious, innocent life in the Bermuda Triangle on an island paradise knowing nothing of the outside world until she took her invisible plane to the United States and discovered she could make a difference there and not let bad guys win. The Bionic Woman, Emma in Once Upon a Time, the latest Maleficent, the list goes on.

I believe so much in happy endings and in super heroes, that I’ve decided to create my own happy ending and become a super hero myself. A lofty goal you say? Mock me if you must, but I’m living the dream. No, not a dream…a reality. 20 years ago if you had told me I would grow up to be a super hero I would have laughed right out loud. Heck, even 10 years ago would have had me doubting through and through. But here I am, a living breathing super hero. Guess what? You are, too! Or can decide to be if that is your goal and that it’s what YOU want to be when you grow up.

The good news is that it is never to late to decide to be a super hero. You cannot say, “I’m too old, or too worn out, or too many bad things have happened to me, or I’ve caused too many bad things to happen”. Those are just excuses that need to be kicked to the curb where they belong. Faith wins over fear if you will let it.

Does being a super hero free you from ever having bad things happen to you again? NO! Superman had kryptonite and Lex Luthor. Lara Croft had the Luminoti, not to mention her own heart to worry about. Batman, The Arrow, X-Men, Wonder Woman, The Incredibles all had new villains to battle. I suppose that’s job security. Or, it is how you too can continue to learn that you are capable of more than you could ever imagine. I’ve watched The Flash get knocked down time and time again and still that dude is optimistic – how does he do that? Just when you thought you had learned every lesson, there was more of you to discover. Things you never knew you could do or imagined were possible. These villains make us stronger.

So, who is your villain right now? For me, I might not have known I was even fighting a villain until the battle was over. Sometimes, I could see the villain coming from a mile away and I had to choose to run or stand up and fight. Other times it was a crime against my heart that hurt so bad I could barely breathe, or eat, or sleep. Others still were crimes brought to me unbidden, but had to be dealt with just the same.

Let me share one of my oldest villains with you. Teenage pregnancy. I don’t think any little girl sets her dream to be pregnant by the time she is 16, especially one that has a future as a super hero. While I do not have anyone to blame but myself, it is a fact that “most people end up in this situation in a misguided attempt to fulfill some pretty basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives.” (Ezra Taft Benson) If those needs are not met, we seek them in places that are unhealthy to ourselves and others. (Don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that your decisions effect only you…just like positive choices leave ripple effects, so do poor choices.)

My villain changed my life and the lives of those around me. I was married at 16 1/2 years of age, having my first daughter at age 17. I did not finish high school and I did not attend Prom. My love for playing on the high school basketball team was squashed and my flute would gather dust for years. I had disappointed my parents and ignored all advice from people who were trying to help me take a better path and who cared about me a great deal.

My decisions led me to many more poor choices in relationships for lots of years, but as I’ve told others before, I would rather change my course than be completely derailed. Because inevitably that is what happened…I was completely derailed, lying on the floor, unable to make another decision in my life, good or bad. All of my choices had led me to the side of my bed, on my knees, praying for help. Help to loosen these chains of bad habits in the area of my love life. I asked God to let me be happy with the life I had with my three beautiful daughters as a single mom. To be content with who I had become as a woman even if my relationship woes were unsightly to say the least.

And you know what? He did so much more. Not everyone believes that there is a God and I’m not out to convert you with this blog, but I want to be honest in my story-telling here. When I turned my life over to Him, instead of pushing my own agenda, things changed. He was incredibly more kind to me than I ever had been to myself. He led me and guided me to a path that led to a beautiful marriage. A safe haven to figure out how to be a super hero despite any human frailties I may have experienced in my life to date. Just like SuperMan had to go away for awhile to get things figured out and learn of his true potential, I was given the gift of another second chance.

Just over 8 years ago, I married my hero, my best friend. My heart has been healed and my capacity to love has grown. While I had earned my GED as a teenager, I wanted my high school diploma because it was something I had deprived myself of. (As a side note, don’t try this at home…it is SO MUCH EASIER to pass high school as a teenager than an adult…TRUST ME!!) I went back to adult school and the math that I hated with a passion and earned my diploma. Not only was that super, crazy kind of hard, but I took graduation pictures, attained a class ring, and even spoke at my graduation where lots of friends and family were in attendance (including my tutor I had to get to pass math!). They didn’t even have the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) when I was in high school! It seemed so unfair, but I passed! I graduated at the ripe old age of 41!

Conquering a villain is an amazing feeling. After I graduated high school I felt like I could take on the world! I could do anything! Be anything! I took certificate courses online, became a Certified Holistic Health Coach, started teaching cooking classes locally. I just can’t stop! It is part of the reason I am writing this blog and pursuing a career as a public speaker. To help women realize their potential and to believe in this small, four-letter word…hope.

There will be many more villains that will need their ass kicked and the only one to do it will be me because those villains are mine to fight. Whatever or whomever your latest villain is in your life, I want you to know that you can be the super hero in your life. You can have your happy ending. It will not be easy and may involve a lot of hard work. Learn to love work. Do something! If all you can do is just think it, think it. But then say it, whisper it if you need to. Then say it out loud. Now louder! Now take that first step. What action can you take to begin your journey?

I believe in hope. I believe in faith. I believe in love.

I believe in you. I believe in us.

Art of Holiatry Social

Be Cheerful!

By Lauri Mackey — 6 years ago

Be Cheerful!

Time Traveling, Smiling, Connecting

My purpose in writing today is to help you establish some guidelines in your life that will bring you peace, enjoyment and cheerfulness. I love the phrase, “Be Cheerful!”. When I picture being cheerful, I picture myself smiling and enjoying the moment I’m in right there. No time traveling to the day or months or even years before or focusing on the days, months, or years ahead. Just being cheerful in the moment. Right now.

I’d like to make three simple suggestions that if you commit to today will bring you happiness and cheerfulness into your life.

1) No more time traveling. Unless you get a crazy, awesome DeLorean like in Back to the Future, time traveling is not a good idea. I’m not even sure it’s a good idea in Back to the Future, but definitely not good for your thoughts and feelings of today. Yesterday is gone. The mistakes are gone. Tomorrow will never get here so all you can focus on is today. The old adage of One Day at a Time is truly relevant for everyone, not just for those in 12-step programs.

2) Smile. Make a conscience effort to smile, even if no one can see you. About a million and a half years ago I had a job as a telemarketer that lasted for about half a second. Part of the training was to smile during your call. Why? No one could see me! That was just silly and ridiculous to me. But it worked! If you don’t believe me, try talking on the phone without smiling and then smiling. Your countenance just changes…for the better. Don’t take my word for it…try it.

3) Commit to human connection. And no, sitting in front of your television watching other humans does not count. Interacting with other human beings simply boosts your spirits, even if the connection is you having to call and whine to your best friend, or cry on the shoulder of that friend during a visit, make the connection. When I have been truly down in the dumps my gut reaction is to hole up and disappear like a hermit crab in it’s shell. I block out everyone and everything until I feel better. Not healthy to say the least. I still have that tendency, but have beautiful friends who can break my shell and have me standing upright soon enough.

I want to write more suggestions, but don’t want to overwhelm you either. If you have a problem with negativity, sadness, feelings of being a failure, take a minute to acknowledge that moment and ask yourself how you can be cheerful about something else. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done if you focus on these three things. Commit to yourself today. Be in the moment, smile, link arms with your best friend and have a beautiful day!
Art of Holiatry Psychological

Favorite Things

By Lauri Mackey — 6 years ago

Heaven is…

Do you have those fun little things that just make you smile? Of course you do! I found a list in my notebook today that must have been written a year ago about a few of my favorite things. It totally made me smile and so I figured I would share it with you today!

Updated February 2019 and added my current list! Check it out below!

After reading my list, please comment below on at least your top 5-10 favorite things.

Can’t wait to hear from you!

2015

butterfly kisses

brace-face smiles

someone else folding laundry & doing dishes

reaching a milestone

a really good haircut

mountain bike rides

hugs (I’m a firm believer in hugs!)

new workout clothes

just-washed towels and sheets

new pillows

a long, unhurried visit with a friend

babies laughing

my favorite book

Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley

singing along with my favorite song

electricity! (power was out last weekend)

jeans that fit just right

a clean, organized house

waffles on Sunday (A Mackey Tradition)

empty laundry hampers

2019

Bedhead

Gray Hair

Mountain Bike Rides

New Clothes/Shoes

An Inspirational Quote

Synchronicities

My Sweetheart Smiling

Friends

Making Someone Laugh

Homemade Food

NOW YOUR TURN!

Smiling is contagious…can’t wait to smile with you!
Art of Holiatry Psychological

#Recess #PlayDateIdeas #SelfLove

By John Greywitt — 3 years ago

5 #Recess Ideas for Self-Dates!

It wasn’t until I read the book, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron that I truly embraced self-dates. And to tell you the honest truth, the first one stunk. It was supposed to be for 2 hours and I don’t know why, but I chose to go to the beach and people-watch. I don’t even like the beach. I live 15 minutes away, but I’m more of a mountain girl. I sat on that beach for 2 hours! Doing absolutely nothing! Lame, but lesson learned.

I was so mad about my first date going so horribly wrong that I was determined to make the 2nd one more fun. I planned a trip to Ojai which is about 30 minutes from my home. I went on line and picked two new stores to check out and then had lunch at my favorite vegan restaurant called Hip (highly recommend it!). The first store turned out to be closed, but the second one was an open air bookstore – really! An outdoor bookstore and I bought more Louis L’amour books – it was fabulous!

As of this writing, my 19-year old has now taken herself on her first self-date. She got treats for the movies at the Dollar Store and took herself! Go Mug! Dollar treats, bargain day at our local theater – perfect for the teenage budget!

I truly recommend self-dates! The ultimate would be once a week, but if you can pull off once every two weeks or even once a month consider it a huge accomplishment as you will have gone from zero to something! Here are 5 Self-Date Ideas to get you started. Re-instate #Recess for Adults!

5 #Recess Self-Dates

The 5 Senses Date

#1 One of my favorite self-dates was last month when I decided to enlist the 5 senses and create a date around it. Touch, Smell, Taste, Sight, and Hearing. Start by making a list of your 3 favorite in each category and then pick your favorite from each one. Here is how mine played out: Touch – my favorite comfy afghan my oldest daughter made for me while dressed in my night shirt and slippers. Smell – wild orange essential oil in a diffuser to remind me of the orange blossoms in the local orange groves. Taste – what else? Sweet Potato Fries from Veggie Grill, of course! Sight – sat in my favorite room of the house and grabbed my favorite book by Josi S Kilpack, The Vicar’s Daughter. Hearing – gonna love this one…I ran the dishwasher. Weird? It is a childhood sound that I love because whenever we went to bed, my mom or dad would start the dishwasher – love that sound! Best date ever!

Traveling Exhibit

#2 This one was simple. I live on a University Campus with a beautiful library. There was a traveling exhibit featuring this area’s local agriculture history. Other than the one gentleman who talked my ear off for about 30 minutes, it was fascinating and I even toured the library for the first time after living here for the last 6 years! Check your local library or museums to see what’s on exhibit now or coming soon.

Something Old, Something New

#3 When I went up to Ojai, I picked my favorite restaurant Hip because I was familiar with it and then coupled it with something new in visiting the outdoor bookstore. The restaurant made me feel warm and comfy and the bookstore made me feel adventurous. Is there something you can couple with something old and familiar and still taste some adventure?

It’s Elementary, My Dear

#4 This one seems silly at first blush, but it is oh so fun once you’re into it. Collect at least 10 magazines and grab your scissors and a piece of poster paper from Michael’s or Target. Cut out anything that you like or strikes your fancy and then paste them with a glue stick on to the poster paper. Proudly hang it up in a prominent place in your home for as long as you can!

Sacred Space

#5 Sometimes you just need a solid time-out #Recess. What is your sacred space? A temple, synagogue or church? Perhaps the library or a special place on your favorite hike? There is a choice of a couple of things you can do. One is that you just go sit and be. Take this time to simply be still, quiet, and savor the silence. Two is that before you head out to your sacred space, write down a burning question to take with you. Write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket. Once in your sacred space, open it up and lay it beside you. Don’t overthink this. Don’t make yourself think about it, just knowing it’s there will help. Is there a solution or at least a next step that comes to mind? I will tell you that the times I’ve done this, I either think of a solution or a next step OR I get a feeling of peace that I just need to be patient and that the answer will come in time. Either way, I feel immensely better for having taken this time for myself.

Calendar It!

Pick a date, set the #Recess time on your calendar, fulfill the date, then come back here and comment to let me know what you’ve done. Others will appreciate hearing back from you and get more ideas – remember, we are all out to help each other!